One Crazy Machine (Apocalypse Paused Book 9) Read online

  Gunnar held his hands up in mock surrender and forced a grin as wide as Manny’s onto his face. “Doctor, doctor, doctor. There is absolutely no need to do that. I too believe in using taxpayer dollars to fund a sweet fricking super-soldier suit. And also in being the one to test that suit.”

  Dr. Kessler nodded. “Right. Well, despite your predilection for firearms, I’ve equipped the left arm with a rather large and extremely sharp extendable blade.”

  “You’re saying it has a sword arm?” He really did sound like a kid at Christmas.

  “Indeed. For when the pilot finds himself in a situation in which the rotary cannon on his back is either too loud or he’s run out of ammunition.”

  “Doctor, I think I love you.” The soldier’s eyes were moist.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Let’s get started,” Gunnar murmured and wiped his eyes.

  “Right, this way then. If you’ll excuse us.”

  Dr. Kessler led the private away toward the side of the hangar that housed the robot warrior armor.

  Ava glanced at Manny, who shrugged, and Peppy, who scowled. The trio followed the other two men.

  The suit was shaped like a man but larger, about nine feet tall. The skeleton consisted of unpainted steel rods that connected to ball-sockets for its joints. Plates of armor painted with a camouflage pattern covered the shins, the thighs of the driver—whose legs fit into the robot legs—as well as a large chest cavity plate that Dr. Kessler closed. Gunnar’s torso, head, and arms were locked inside. A few cameras and a sensor protruded above the shoulders, together with the rotary cannon mounted where the head of a man would be, a little off-center.

  Both arms had three large fingers. The left was newly equipped with a massive yellow-and-black blade tucked into a sheath mounted on the back of the forearm, while the right had various guns mounted around it. Despite training with Peppy and Gunnar for a week, Ava still didn’t know much about guns, but she knew enough to at least see the differences. One of the weapons mounted on the robotic suit was like an assault rifle that could fire extremely rapidly, another could shoot large bullets that punched holes in almost anything, and the third fired grenades. They all looked like pea-shooters compared to the giant weapon now mounted where the robot’s head should be.

  Dr. Kessler retreated to an observation deck, leaving the other three standing around Gunnar.

  “You look like a monkey who found a glass crate of bananas—too excited to think straight even though you can’t do a damn thing about it.” Manny had his hands on his hips. He’d never approved of the robot suit or—Ava found this option far more likely—he’d never approved the idea Gunnar had the chance to test it instead of him.

  “I’ll look like a damn silverback when Kessler gives me some juice.” Gunnar whooped as lights flickered on inside the machine and it whirred to life. “Hot damn. I’ve taken my true form.”

  “Your true form has a gun for a head?” Ava asked and took a step back hastily as he marched the suit across the hangar toward the husk of a JLTV.

  “Is that even a surprise?” Peppy asked.

  “Let’s start with the rotary cannon,” Dr. Kessler said over a PA system from his room above them.

  Gunnar worked some controls and the robot gave a thumbs up with one of its fingers. His practice showed results.

  “You wanna go? Huh? You damn rhinosaur. Is that what you want, huh?” He paced in front of the vehicle. The gun mounted atop the robot’s shoulder remained aimed at it.

  “If this counts as foreplay for you, I truly am sorry,” Manny said.

  “I’ve seen you treat a helicopter the same way,” Ava pointed out.

  “Nonsense. I only talk to my birds because of the elegance of flight. Lifting man into the heavens is truly a transcendent spectacle and all that. Like Icarus, flying is to draw ever closer to the sun and see the world down below. It is a taste of true freedom, suffering no consequences.”

  “Icarus’s wings melted, and he fell into the ocean and drowned.” Peppy paused in thought, then said, “I’ve always liked that story.”

  The pilot shook his head. “Maybe that’s how it goes in the United States, but in Australia, he flies forever, free as a kookaburra, until he meets Led Zeppelin and shows them how to fly their…you know, Zeppelin.”

  “Icarus is neither American nor Australian, he’s Greek,” Ava said.

  “Yeah, and the Greeks love happy endings.”

  The two women shared a look. Both were ready to tell Manny he was delusional, but Gunnar chose that moment to fire the rotary cannon and ended their conversation. It wasn’t as loud as Ava expected, not compared to the destruction it caused. The bullets expelled so rapidly that the JLTV seemed to simply melt away, its armor plating riddled with holes. Finally, it was more empty space than metal.

  “Holy crap. You guys know I’m not a gun nut but that’s pretty damn impressive,” Ava said and imagined that the derelict military vehicle was one of the damn monsters from the Zoo.

  “You’re like Iron Man,” Manny exclaimed. “A poor, vaguely chubby, and definitely not handsome Iron Man.”

  “Instead of an arc reactor, you probably have a tumor from all the damn cigarettes you smoke,” Peppy added.

  “Now for the sword,” Dr. Kessler’s voice boomed.

  Gunnar dropped to a crouch and sprinted forward. He somehow actually jumped in the damn suit, extended the blade in midair, and chopped the target in half. The blade sliced through the frame of the vehicle as easily as the bullets had chewed through its plated exterior.

  “I think I’m in love, Doc,” Gunnar gushed from within the suit. “I’d give up smoking to be Tony Stark.”

  “Mate, we already told you, you’re too damn poor and ugly to be a superhero. If anyone was going to have a comic book about them it’d be me. The incredible Jack Mann and the Flying Bast—” Manny, in an uncharacteristic show of verbal restraint, slapped his hand to his mouth before he completed his sentence.

  “Maybe you could star in Charlie Brown, you blockhead,” Peppy said and pointed at him.

  Gunnar ignored them. “What next, Doc?” he shouted.

  “Try some evasive maneuvers. I want to see how the coordination in the legs works. Follow the blinking lights, if you can manage that.” From Dr. Kessler’s tone, Ava couldn’t decide if he meant if the suit could manage it or if Gunnar could.

  A red light blinked in front of the soldier and he sprinted to it. To his left, a blue one activated and he pivoted and leapt into position.

  “All right. That really is a ripper of a robot.” Manny sounded impressed despite his disapproval.

  “You’re like the world’s strongest cat chasing a laser pointer,” Ava added.

  “What do you think, Peppy? Are you impressed yet?” Gunnar asked as he spun and made it to another spot of light.

  “I guess so, yeah. It's interesting to see the vanguard of the robot apocalypse.”

  “What?” he asked. “Apocalypse?”

  “This level of technology demonstrates that robots will kill us all one day. Sooner than I thought, apparently. Honestly, I think it’s depressing. I thought we’d have a few more years at least.”

  “Nonsense,” Manny said. “The Zoo will end mankind long before robots have a shot. Give the power of life some credit where credit’s due. What do you think, Gunnar? Does that suit of yours have any chance to stop the Zoo?”

  “No, I don’t really believe so— Nooooo!” Gunnar screamed as the little cabin he occupied filled with black smoke.

  “Now’s not the time for a cigarette, you addict,” Peppy said.

  “I completely agree.” Gunnar smacked the front of the robot suit with one of the robotic arms, either in an effort to break the glass or smother the fire that presumably caused the smoke.

  “A helicopter doesn’t do that, mate. It’s disgraceful, that is.” Manny folded his arms, his expression close to disgust.

  Thinking quickly, Ava retrieved a fire extinguisher and approac
hed the flailing robot as one of the legs burst into flame.

  “See. The apocalypse is about to claim its first victim.” Peppy sounded vindicated rather than worried.

  Ava sprayed the robot with the fire extinguisher. She extinguished the flames, although black smoke continued to pour out of the damaged robot. With a hiss, the cabin opened, and Gunnar stumbled out and fell on his hands and knees, coughing raggedly.

  “Holy crap. I never thought fresh air would smell so good.” He plopped onto his rear and wiped his face. His face was completely black like he’d stuck it in the tailpipe of a car in a Little Rascals movie.

  “I dunno, mate, that smoke smells pretty good.” Manny took a few steps toward him and sniffed as he approached.

  “Yeah, well, that’s my fucking leg you’re smelling so forgive me if I don’t rush off to get the hot sauce.”

  “Hmm,” the pilot said. “I’ve tasted my fair share of human—Father Christmas and otherwise—but I never thought about cooking it before. I’ll have to think about that one. Hey!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at the soldier’s legs. “When you’re driving that thing, you should carry spice packets in your pockets.”

  The two women laughed while Gunnar shook his head and attempted to look pissed-off. Eventually he, too, started to snigger. “I’m definitely not grass-fed, grass-finished, corn-fed pork right here,” he said and pinched his gut.

  Manny started to say something about a basting brush. Before he reached the punchline, claxons blared, and red lights flashed throughout the hangar.

  An attack was imminent.

  “And me without my robot overlord suit.” Gunnar pushed himself up and tried in vain to wipe his face once more.

  The Australian grinned and slapped him on the back. “Just another day in paradise.”

  Chapter Two

  “Stations people.” Peppy tossed her fellow-soldier a rifle. “If we die today, I want it to be holding our position hopelessly while Captain Taylor watches his carefully orchestrated plans come apart at the seams.”

  Gunnar caught the weapon as if he’d played catch all day. “Not me. I want to be in a position close enough to the captain to save his life. Can you imagine the look on his face?”

  “We’ll see you on the other side,” Peppy said cryptically before the two of them raced out.

  “What’s your plan, chickadee? Are you gonna hole up in your room for this one? Let the big boys protect you?” Manny goaded.

  “Not on your fucking life. I’ve trained with Peppy. I’m a better shot than you, I bet.”

  “Ava, paint thinner poured in a coffee cup is probably a better shot than ol’ Jack Mann.”

  “Holy crap. Did you actually admit there was something you weren’t good at?”

  “No fucking way. I merely told you that I once drank paint thinner out of a coffee cup. It was quite good, actually.”

  “I’ll meet you up top?”

  “It’s a date.”

  Ava ran through Wall Two and made for the armory. Unlike the troops, she didn’t always walk around armed. Soldiers and civilians alike raced through the halls of the unfinished station as everyone hurried to their positions. While she wasn’t the only person going to the armory, most of the soldiers were already armed. Wall Two wasn’t completed, so even civilians had begun to carry weapons. She ran past reminders of the wall’s unfinished state. Many computer terminals were still black, although some viewscreens displayed camera feeds of the automated defenses. Unfortunately, the only cannons that worked were the ones operated by human soldiers. This was, she knew, a provisional and as yet incomplete security command center but seemed to have been abandoned—all troops had most likely been called elsewhere.

  She reached her destination and selected an M4 carbine. Although she still didn’t know much about guns, Peppy had assured her this was a good weapon. But she’d added a caveat that it should be protected in dust storms. Hopefully, the woman was simply superstitious, given that they were in a desert.

  Armed but not necessarily ready—she was a novice, after all—Ava followed the line of soldiers who jogged up the stairs to the top of Wall Two. Her position was near the gate with most of the other combat-willing civilians. Since the wall defenses weren’t ready yet, the number of troops available was insufficient to guard every inch of the barrier. That was where people like Ava came in.

  “Do you think this is a drill?” one of the soldiers called to another as they marched up the stairwell.

  “I doubt it. You know how it is—the Zoo hates the damn wall. It can’t stand our sophistication.”

  To think about the Zoo as a single-minded enemy was common. Ava didn’t necessarily agree, though, not anymore. She thought of it as more a machine with exceptional programming than a villain, but she couldn’t argue with the reality that the jungle often seemed hell-bent on destroying the Wall.

  “What has it sent this time?”

  “I don’t know but I heard it destroyed a firebase’s entire supply of fuel reserves. I swear this place is getting smarter.”

  “Dunno, bud. We might be getting dumber.”

  “That’s why you’re not in charge.”

  When they reached the top of the stairs, the soldiers went left while Ava went right to join the other civilians. The soldiers would be spread along the defense line. Some manned the cannons that would soon be automated, while others took positions behind half-completed fortifications, ready to rain death upon the approaching hostiles.

  She headed toward the main gate. It was one of the few parts of Wall Two that was finished, which meant it could be more easily defended by civilians. The soldiers would be tasked with defending portions of the defenses that were yet to be properly armored. Fortunately, there wasn’t any scaffolding up that Ava could see. She knew that in past attacks, they’d had to scuttle the construction equipment and let the Zoo creatures trash it rather than risk any of them climbing up. There was a time when people would have doubted animals’ ability to navigate man-made scaffolding to scale a wall, but nobody who knew anything about the Zoo made such careless assumptions. Not anymore.

  Ava hurried to the walkway above the main gate and noted that since she’d been up there a few days before, more work had been done. Two guns had been mounted, each so large that they made the robot suit’s rotary cannon look like a slingshot. Soldiers stood at the controls of these massive weapons, but other than that, she was surrounded by civilians with assault rifles like hers.

  The reality was that they were most likely there for show rather than anything else. The attack would target one of the weaker parts of the wall. The Zoo knew the gate was too strong to attack directly. Creatures would make it past the scattered firebases every now and then and try their luck against the man-made barrier. Fortunately, construction and improvement were ongoing, so every time a fresh wave of Zoo creatures came, they encountered upgraded defenses. That was encouraging but it was also cause for concern because the attacks seemed to increase proportionately in strength.

  She caught sight of Manny amongst the civilians and still found it odd that he wasn’t military, considering how capable he was piloting a helicopter and his sheer lack of fear. Then again, the Australian hated taking orders, so maybe it made sense.

  “Places, you slugs, places,” Captain Taylor shouted at the late arrivals. “I’ll let those monsters fuck my hairless skull before I let you spineless cretins allow this wall to be taken.” His face and bald head literally glowed red and his mustache quivered. In other words, he was enjoying himself.

  Ava wished it wasn’t the case, but the insults worked. People moved more quickly to avoid drawing the captain’s wrath. Still, it was obvious that they’d had some drill training because the civilians spaced themselves efficiently along the top of the main gate and took cover behind the wall’s fortifications. Well, most of them did, except Manny.

  “What if I sneak up there and goose him?” The pilot stuck a thumb out and jerked it upward. He had an assault rifle
—an M16, Ava thought—strapped across his chest but made no attempt to even pretend that he would shoot it. “I bet he wouldn’t even notice, he’s so fucking uptight. I’ve seen ignition coils that aren’t as wound up as that asshole.”

  “He’s doing what it takes to maintain civilian order. Although I agree that he could drop the references to, er…skull-fucking.”

  “Well, call me a kangaroo. If it ain’t the old pencil-pusher. How you doing, Cort, ol’ buddy?” Manny slapped the smaller man on the shoulder.

  “Nice to see you, Lieutenant Cort,” Ava said.

  “What the hell’s up, man?”

  “Well, we’re under attack.” Cort nodded nervously. He was a thin man, with glasses and a similar mustache to Captain Taylor’s but blonde and wispy rather than black and intimidating. He’d joined the team to rescue Dr. Kessler and proven that he could work under pressure despite being relatively wimpy most of the time.

  “Firebase reported a flock of chimeras. Apparently, they totally trashed the station instead of avoiding it. We’re lucky they had a radio.”

  “Chimeras, huh?” The pilot rubbed his hands together. “Like big, blue-feathered chickens.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t go with a cassowary reference there,” Ava said.

  “Those bastards wish they were like the elegant cassowary. I learned how to knife-fight from them blokes. Go for the eyes and go for the guts.” Manny nodded sagely. “Naw, these chimeras are chickens through and through—ugly chickens, to be sure, but chickens all the same.”

  The three of them stepped to the edge of the wall and looked out into an enormous cloud of dust that approached rapidly.

  “They’re kicking the sand up and using it to mask their numbers,” Cort said.

  “So we don’t know how many of them are out there?” Ava asked.

  “There must be a lot of chickens—the most I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something considering my fourth birthday cake was literally taken away by chickens. See, what happened was—well, to be honest, it was actually very similar to this. Except for the half-finished futuristic wall and the ominous cloud of dust, and o’ course, the chickens were actually chicken-sized.”